Adois Nick Carter!

I fell in love with someone who does not know me at all. But I am glad that he dearly love his fans worldwide. 

I adored him since I was 10 years old and until at this very moment.

I think he is the reason why I never look for a boyfriend in real life. He is the man in my heart and mind all these years.

I even cried when Paris Hilton broke his heart, a burst of anger toward that socialite that is good for nothing!

A common reaction to a lady who loved and cared for someone whom never heard of nor known to exist. Though it may sound a bit crazy but yes, I do love Nick Carter for what he is.

To show my support to his career, I bought every cassette tape and the Backstreet Boys' cover magazine interviews during the 90's. 

Till the day Kevin announced that he will be leaving the group to concentrate on his family. I even supported BSB times 2!

I even told to myself that "I will never let you down Nick! I'm here for you!"

Reminiscing the past makes me laugh at myself. During the early years in the 90's, I bought every posters and magazines my money could buy. 

Just like a crazy lover, I memorized the lyrics of their songs in all of their albums.

Whenever my Nicky would appear on TV, I screamed with great bliss. Seeing him on TV makes me proud of my baby. 

There was a point in my life that I kissed his picture/poster before I sleep; even prayed to God to protect the one I love at all times. 

When Nick announced that his family would have a reality TV show, I watched it on line. I said to myself that "they were my future in laws, so I have to get to know them better." 

I even affixed Nick Carter's surname to mine (making my surname as my middle name due to Carter's surname). 

In recent news, when the reporters reported that Leslie died, Nick solemnly grieve for the loss of his sister. I felt it too. For his joy is my joy; his sadness is my sadness too. 

Though it may sound crazy for a fan like me. This is the way I show my love and concern for someone. 

During their first major concert here in the Philippines, I was there. I was singing to the every tune of their songs. Nick even splashed water from the fans seating in front of the stage. I saw his sadness once more when the boys sang "Siberia". In that year, Nick Carter was trying to forget the nightmare Paris Hilton gave him. 

Deep within me, I wanted to take away that loneliness and grief from him. But in reality I cannot do that, for he does not know my existence. 

When he was arrested for drunk driving and branded as addict. I wanted to fly from Manila to America just to support him personally. Even though my family and friends overly criticize him as addict, I don't give a damn. No matter what they say, he is Nick the man whom I loved so much and I do understand the factors that made him that way. 

First, his parents divorced. Second, his relationship with his Mom turn to sour. Third, his split from Paris whom he loved dearly. 

At their 2nd concert here in the country, I was there too. But this time around I was a bit closer to the stage. Nick loss some weight and became matured. I called his name at in the wide dome of Araneta Coliseum. Though there were a lot of fans screaming his name, he looked at my direction and waved. 

That was one of my memorable nights. I could feel my heart beating so fast and kept telling to myself  "Finally after the long years of waiting, you are here in flesh!" 

When they had a joined concert tour with New Kids on the Block, unfortunately, I wasn't there. But I heard the concert was fantastic.  I imagined how does Nick looked at that night, was he fat or slim? 

When Nick pop out the question to his girlfriend to marry him, it broke my heart a bit. I just told to myself that maybe I am waiting for someone who could never be mine in the first place.

Waiting for Nick Carter made me realize that in one way or another it taught the value of patience. It also taught me not to be idealistic about the man of my dreams. 

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Though the sad part is I have to say adios to Nick but before that I want to say my deep gratitude for Nick for teaching me that great things come to those who wait and if you love someone you have to love them for what they are and not for who they are. 

I am glad to see that his trauma about marriage is over. I hope that this "woman" has a clear and clean intention with Nick. I pray that she love Nick for the right reasons and nit for the money. So as to Nick have a happy wedding and lasting marriage.