Maple Leaf

Hello there! My family and friends call me “G”. I am a constant case of unemployed human being since after College. Probably by now, my body is submerging into the water. You may think either I am swimming or surfing in cool blue sea. Neither of those guesses are correct. You see I have a troubled life, or that I do believe. I am having my afternoon jogging in a seemingly bad weather. This past few days I am about to give up my life. So running is just my escape goat to all of these. I am wearing my Reebok sportswear attire of shorts, t-shirt plus sneakers. By chance the angry rain pour down as I am running along the Marikina River, the water level rises. The commuters in the street and the shoppers take refuge inside the SM Marikina Mall and in LRT Santolan station, except for me.

I know the water is about to swallow me, anyway I keep on running. Before I take my turn at the circled park due to my clumsiness I slip and lost my balance. The rushing freezing water from the river pulled and pushed me in every direction. Good thing though, no hard objects hit me! I do not wish to see my lifeless body with so many bruises. I openly accept it in my heart that this would be my final day. Then a man hold my hand and pull me out of the stream. I lost my consciousness.

            I see a red light. Am I already dead? But why red light? Then voices everywhere, they are shouting but I cannot hear clearly their words. If this is heaven or hell, why the sounds are strange? Nevertheless, my eyes are still closed. I wake up because of a soft loving voice, he tells “Wake up you are safe.” Is that the voice of God? My curious mind commands that I should welcome a new day which I willingly obey.

            A man stand at my foot bed, he is very tall good enough to be a basketball player. He has flawless snow skin, profound nose, dark-brown hair and charismatic face. My heart beat so fast. Am I dreaming? In heaven? Or in Earth? I am speechless. I turn around to see I am lying in bed with the side rails up. On my left arm I have an IV line and there is a tube attached to my nose. The place smells like isopropyl alcohol. I am a bit dizzy as I cough this man caringly offer a tissue. He wipes my secretions on my mouth. Eeeew.

            “Do you feel better now?” he asks in a gentle soft voice.

             I stare at this marvelous -- fine gentleman. He is not familiar to me but he cares about me as if we are acquainted. He is wearing a simple blue sweat shirt and jeans.

“Wait here I will call the doctor. Do not move just take it easy.” He orders me to stay calm. He comes together with a male doctor. The physician assess my vital signs, level of consciousness and IV. He stays at the foot bed while the doctor is doing his job. Then, they discuss something about me, though I am not sure what it is all about. I retire once more.

It is already evening around 8 o’clock when I wake up. He is sleeping beside me. His arms are folded on top of the bed and he rest his face on his arms. Such a cutie, I giggle. He might be my admirer, I fantasize. He moves and stares at me.

“Hi!” I whisper.

“Hi too!” His smiles makes me melt on the bed, it can make you forget who you are. “Are you hungry?” He lean on his back and grab some bake macaroni which has the packaging of 7/11. I nod as I am lost in his eyes or lips or both. We chat for a minute or so. I know now his name, Inaki, a name that suits my cuddly bear!

I am about to tell my name, “I am ……” he cuts me by saying, “I know who you are, Giselle right?” This time he winks his eyes with a smile. Oh that mesmerizing eyes! If I don’t have a nasal cannula in my nose I might give it a kiss! He turn on the T.V. it has been four days since the storm rush in. Inaki tells me that since we arrived in the hospital he never left my side.  “I already called your house, G, I told them that you are safe here and finally recovered at St. Bartholomew’s Hospital.”

“Oh, thank you Inaki.”

After a week, I am finally discharge. Inaki drives me home. My parents and my sister are not yet at home since they have to stay for a while in Tagaytay due to the storm. Aunt Esmeralda, is my mother’s eldest sibling. She lives in Filinvest Subdivision at Antipolo City. She is fair skinned and short hair. She will be here for a while to tend to my needs as I am not yet fully recovered. Our house has two floors and quite big. People say it is like a mansion. For me it is just big house.

“Is there anything dear which you need?” Aunt Esmeralda asks as she busied herself in the kitchen which is one door away from the garage. She will cook pork adobo for lunch.

“It is okay Aunt, I can manage.” I assure her because if not she might be frantic again. There is someone who knock at the door. “I get it Aunt.” I walk slowly since my head is still banging inside. To my surprise Inaki is here! My internal organs are screaming as if they are tickling one another.

“Good day! Here I brought you chicken cordon bleu.” He has a rectangular Tupperware covered with aluminum foil. I usher him inside the house. Our living room has a wide space since it share space with the library. In the past few days he acts as if I have a caregiver. “Just a caregiver? Why not care lover?” I tell to myself. He looks at my direction, “Did you say something?” He asks as he smiles at Aunt Esmeralda in the kitchen. The living room and the dining hall are congruent. Then the dining room and kitchen are proximal. In between them is the bar. Since we have now a viand, there is no need for Aunt Esmeralda to cook pork adobo.

When it is already evening, he bids goodbye to us. “Be careful on the road and drive safely.” I wave. Both of them look at me as if there is a huge dirt on my face. Aunt shook her head and Inaki laughs. I bite my lips, just my mannerism.  

“Hey, Giselle, snap it out! Drive safely?! He is your neighbor, he lives across the street.” Aunt points out at the American modern inspired home just across the street. Oh my goodness! I never know that we are neighbors. Why am I that stupid? Inaki wave once again and leaves. I watch him at our main door as he crosses the street, open their golden gate and enter their palace.

Aunt stares at me and relents “See that’s what you get when you are not going out of the house. See you are falling in love and yet you do not know that he is your neighbor!”   

“How should I supposed to know that? He never told me!” I protests.

“Never told you? Or you stayed indoors to eat your depression?” Ouch that hurts. Aunt knows my pain. She is my confidant. My sadness swallows me since I cannot have a stable job. Graduating from Nursing is not a bad idea but my heart is not into it. America declares recession and so it affects the opportunity in obtaining a U.S. R.N. licensed.

“Hush now. Do not feel sad.” She hug me so tight. “Tomorrow go out with him. Take this time to get to know him. Who knows he might be your first boyfriend.”

            “Aunt… boyfriend? He is just someone I know….” I recount with a bit of acting a child-like.

“See that is what I am pointing out. You are now twenty three and yet you act as if you are still sixteen years old. It is about time you have a life.” She is firm in her decision.

So the day after that, Inaki and I have our first movie ever. Inaki prefers the movie The Hobbit: Desolation of Smaug. While watching it, Inaki becomes so silent when Legolas disobey his father and left their kingdom. There are tears in his eyes. I hand him a tissue and he ignores me. When the movie is over, I inquire why he feels that way, knowing that it is an action film.

“You are curious why I cried.”

“Uhm yes, I want to know but if you are not willing to share, fine with me.”

“I will tell you my story while we eat dinner. Where do you want to eat?”

“Anywhere as long as the food is great. I am not picky.”

“Alright then, let see…” his eyes search for the best place to dine and talk.  “Do you like burger?”

“Burger is okay, where?”

“There at Burgoo.”

You can smell the foods being cooked at the kitchen. While the waitress is taking down our orders he is so silent. When the waitress left us, he begins to share the reason why he is alone. His family is from a low profile upper class. His American father is back in the states to oversee their restaurant business.  Until now his dad is not talking to him. Like Legolas, he reveals his rebel side and run away from home during our secondary years. Unknown to them, his mother at that time is experiencing cardiomyopathy and eventually dies. He controls his tears from dropping in his eyes. Inaki stares at me and asks about my life.

“So the table is now turned. It is my chance now to talk. Let us see where should I  begin.”  This conversation is not so bad during the first night – date. I bite my mushroom burger first.

“I’m a patient person. I can wait.” He assures me as he take a bite of his humungous burger.

My life series begin in the year we graduated from high school. Nursing at that time is  in-demand course so my parents forced me to take it. Since I am a studious person and so I follow their orders. Three years after graduating in 2010, still no permanent career. I have odd jobs such as working as medical receptionist-beauty therapist in a derma clinic nearby and part time private duty nurse. Now no career and no life. Staying indoors afraid to try something new.

“When you ran that day during the storm was it really due to fitness purposes or other thing.” He suspects that I am up to something as he take his final bite in his burger.

“What do you mean by ‘other thing’?” I want to make sure that he is not thinking about suicide. I take a sip on my lemonade as I examine his mind.

“Well, I know you can manage to swim because I knew you are a good swimmer.”   He adds as he reads my mind. Our eyes meet and in his pupil I see my reflection and the same thing with him.

“Me a swimmer?....”Oh yes I could admit that I know how to swim of course. “Of course I can swim. Our dad sent us to swimming school when I was seven years old.” In my mind I know he knows my scheme. I have a feeling he knows my life more than I.

As we head at the first floor of the mall, Inaki watches the other mall goers wait for their queue at the bungee jumping. He pulls my hand romantically and he encourages me to do the bungee jumping. I am like oh no…. an introvert like me never done that. As I protests, he insists that I should try it for a new beginning. Good thing that day there are only few mall customers inside.

“Go try it. Once in your life get out of your shell. We are not getting any younger so enjoy.” As he utter those words the song of Katy Perry “Fire Works” is being played. I feel this song is so right for me. It is now my turn to bungee jump. As the staff instructs me how to tie the straps in my thighs Inaki is cheering for me. My face turn to pinkish red, my cuddly bear is so adoring. When my turn is over, he pulls me to his side and whisper in my ears “I am proud of you.” We stare at each other’s eyes for so long. The huge mistletoe of SM which hangs from the ceiling is hanging beneath us. He kissed my forehead. My legs lose its stability. As we get inside his car, his mouth is near in my left ear and exclaims “I will take you somewhere else.” I turn to his side and our lips meet.  He gives me a warm smile and so he starts his engine. He takes me to a magnificent view on the overlooking area of Antipolo City. It is a wonderful night to see the glaring city lights. The place is very peaceful, we are together in the night like this while the stars shine on us. There are other people in the vicinity but we don’t care. We have our own thing.

“If you want to scream then scream. No one will hurt you. You are one in the world.” Inaki tells me as he pat my shoulder. In his eyes I know he has an idea what I am going through. My other self tells me to give in as it is burdening my chest for three years now. It is like awakening my soul to release all the hurts of the past, the decision others made for me and the path that I am afraid to take.

As I move a bit forward, I declare “I am free! This is my life! I will be different from now on!” Then the people around us in the overlooking gaze at us as if we are freak.

  “Never mind them. This is your moment.” Then he joins me and scream “You hear that this is our life!” He raises his arms in the air as he screams with me. The feeling it gives is unreplaceable. It can give your soul a chance to start a new life – a new you. We gaze at the stars and city lights for two hours. We arrive at our place since we are neighbor around eleven in the evening. To our surprise my parents and younger sister are waiting in the living room. Oh no am I dead?

My parents are furious since it is late at night and I am still in the streets. Dad in his angry voice greets Inaki. “Good evening Mr. Ryder.”

“Good evening too, Sir.” Turning to me, “Good night Giselle.”

“Good night Inaki.”

My parents are furious as usual. They are like the parents of yesterdays’ past. Women are not allowed to stay at the street in the wee hours of the morning. I shift to my night attire and before I close my bedroom light. I peak at the window at the side of my bed to see if Inaki is already sleeping. His lights are still on. “Good night cuddly bear.” Hoping that the wind will deliver my message to him.

In the morning, both mom and dad pretend I do not exist. Thoughts are running in my mind that they are mad about last night. Then my sister announces that she finally have a job in British embassy as an assistant consul or visa officer. We are one year apart but in terms of luck, she has it all. Dad then proudly embrace my sister. Of course comparing part is up next.  

“G, why don’t you be like your sister Felicity? So very ambitious. She did not stop from pursuing her dreams.”

“Giselle listen to your Dad. You are the eldest and you should set example to your younger sister. Apply at Heart Center, Lung Center……” Mom adds as her lists go on. Once again I am the hopeless no job daughter. I know the routine. You have no job so stay at home and clean. When the house is clear, since I am the only one again in the house. I sneak out. I run as fast as I can not knowing where I should go. But then I find myself in the creek of Marikina River. Temptation soars in, either to jump now or later. I have no one to talk too. All of my friends have their own life now. Some of them are already nurses in abroad and have a good life. How about me? Stuck in the shadows of my family’s success. No life of my own! Everything is dictated and no career.  A man shouts behind me, “Are you this reckless!”

I lean behind me it is Inaki. His eyes are sore from crying. His face cannot hide his fears. Is he afraid that I will leave this world in a snap? Inaki pull me to safety as always. “I am here always – watching your back.  So don’t ever try to end it this way.” He relents as his hand covered my ears to stabilize me. Sometimes I wonder why he is so calm despite the raging surroundings.  “Come with me I will take you somewhere else.” Those who are passing by stare at us as if we are lovers in quarrel. Not yet.

“But the house… my ….” My statement is cut short by the hiss of Inaki.  Upon coming back home, I change my attire. I wear my most comfortable wardrobe, a pink sleeveless blouse and jean skirts matching it with my sandals. Inaki looks great in every men’s wardrobe. We hit the road and marvel on the beauty of Eastwood city. Though I am never been to Los Angeles but there I have a strange feeling that I am there. There are walk of fame of local artists and just like a child in me, I follow the stars. The buildings are quite tall. This is one of the place where elite individuals shop. My family has money too but we do not spend this much. This day is fun. There are more mall goers here. Not that bad since this is a business hub and condominium everywhere. Inaki is just looking at me and takes stolen shots of me. When the wind lift my hair up, I glance at Inaki. That is the one time I notice his body somehow change.

“Why did you brought me here?”

“I did brought you here to make you see the world outside your zone.” He touches my chin to meet his face.

I blush and I know what he meant by “zone.” “Giselle, you see if you jump in it, would you see this place?” He reckons.

For a second thought he is right. If I jump ahead, I would not be here.  I see life in his eyes. As if he is telling me to live. I do not know where he gets that energy. An energy which you cannot explain but you have to feel it. Going around the mall adds an excitement for me. I mean I have been given a chance to see a different place and I owe it to Inaki. Inaki left me for a while to grab some snacks. An advertisement from the newsstand draw my attention.

“Apply now Canada is looking for a care-giver. With related experience is welcome to apply. – Magnifico Agency”

I read the paper to see clearly the ad when Inaki startle me, he notice that I am looking at the job offer overseas. All throughout the day he refrain from talking to me. Am I invincible now?

Inside his car he finally talk to me. “Are you interested to apply? Are you willing to work there?” He melancholically asks as if I will be gone for good.

“Oh well, if given by chance, why not. In that case I prove that I am not pain in the neck of my parents. I have the will to stand on my feet.” It seems my statement is not that persuasive.

“What makes you think you are some kind of a pain in the neck?! Huh!”

“My parents of course. I am their daughter I can feel it. Have you seen the look in their eyes when my sister earlier this morning announced that she has a job! Did you hear what they said? I am the eldest and I should set an example but it turns out my younger sister is the one who triumphantly got a career!”

Inaki pull over at the side street of Libis in front of McDonald’s. He suddenly hug me and whisper “Don’t ever say that. You have no idea how did you changed someone’s life. Say that again and I will not forgive you.” He hold me so tight that I hardly breathe. He never done this before.

“Changed someone’s life? What do you mean? Be clear please…” I beg but he immediately ignore me.

At home in the presence of my family, I inform them that I applied for a job in Canada via the agency. Both of my parents are speechless. This is the first time that someone from their offspring will be traveling abroad.

“You applied through an agency. Are you using your head? Do you know how much would be the placement fee for that? Huh?”  Dad raises his voice. Mom walks out of the room. For once I never really know what they want from me. If I look for a job they will certainly defy it. If I do not have a job they will be comparing me to their favorite child.

“At least I have a job and I tried to gain one, rather not at all.” I gather my strength to say those words. At the back of my mind enough of depression and greet a new day ahead.

“It is up to you whatever you do in your life. Just do not come back here if you are broke.” Dad exclaims as he leaves.

My sister maintains her silence. Through the window of my room, I glance at Inaki’s house. The light from their second floor is still on. I wonder what he is doing. I pray for guidance and close the light. The following morning, Inaki is not around. I know he is there since his car is in their garage. Days turn to weeks, Inaki never left their house, I am so worried. When I check my Samsung S1 there is a message from him.

“Date: December 6, 2013

From: Cuddly Bear

If you need the money tell me the amount and I will lend you.” I cannot believe he knows about it.My tricky finger press the word ‘reply’. Good thing Inaki does not know that his name in my cellphone is Cuddly Bear. My heart gallops in joy!

“Date: December 6, 2013

Inaki how did you know I need the money? As to how much of course it is a big amount. Though I need the money and I want to thank you for it. But I think this is too much. I did not make friends with you to beg money.” Press ‘send.’

After pressing send, just thirty minutes he knocks in our doorstep. Whoa! He comes in and I notice that he is pale. But refuse to say why. He grab my hand and hands me a brown envelope. Boy it is heavy and thick. He embraces me then leaves. I do not understand why everyone is isolating me? I open the envelope while closing the door. To my surprise a huge amount of money, take note not just in Philippine pesos but also in Canadian dollars. I almost forgot his family is wealthier than us.

            The day of my flight to Canada has been materialized. My family and Aunt Esmeralda are with me to bid bon voyage. Though they are here, I am incomplete because Cuddly Bear is not here. When I am about to pay my tax at the airport, there is a man standing behind me wearing a fine suit and shades. I glance back but it vanquish. At my head I think it is Inaki.

             It has been five months now but Inaki never send me a message. Since I am earning with my sweat and blood, I will return his money. I am here because of him. The spring is quite attractive to me as it gives a rejuvenating energy. I am here at the garden assisting Mrs. Gareth in her morning walk routine.  My employer is Mr. Gareth, he is the son of my patient. He is friendly and straight forward. He has a handsome profile. From the window of his office in the second floor of their ancestral house, he calls me. I wonder why and I hope it is not serious.

            “Good day! Giselle, I received a phone call that a certain friend of yours is at the hospital at New Empire Hospital at New York.”

            “A friend Sir?” I have no idea who is that friend. “Sir may I know who is that friend?”

            “Oh well silly me, wait it is hard to say it…..I think it goes I---na , no, Inanaki……”Mr. Gareth continues to pronounce it correctly.

            “Is it Inaki, Sir.” My tears are about to collapse. Then Mr. Gareth face lit up. I hurriedly drop my chores and collect my things. Before I take my leave, Mr. Gareth gives me a brown envelope. Brown envelope again, what is the matter with envelope? The envelope is partially open so I pull out the paper.

            “It is your plane ticket. Your friend manage everything for you. Better hurry.” Mr. Gareth claims as there is a bit sadness in his eyes that I do not want to see nor think of.

            My plane arrive safely though. This Tuesday is a shocking one. Thank God for the taxi as if it is really meant for me. I get in and directs the driver to take me in New Empire Hospital. “Inaki, my cuddly bear, wait for me. Please.” I pray with tears running down my cheeks. The taxi arrive at the hospital within fifteen minutes shortly. As I enter the hospital it gives me a sudden goose bumps; a fear of the unknown. The scent of an impending death is coming. My heart is pounding and I know it is the answer. I walk and run along the hallway. The nurses, patients, doctors and so many others who have seen me where like ‘What is the matter with this girl? Why is she crying? What is she doing here?’ I approach the nurse station and inquire about the male patient Inaki Ryder. The old female nurse who is wearing a blue scrub suits leads me to Inaki’s room at the third floor, 3D room  

            The nurse open the door and Inaki’s father, Mr. Barry John is standing beside the bed of his son. We are neighbors but this is the first time I finally meet him. He is a very tall man with fine biceps which his suits cannot hide. Like his son, he has an expressive dark eyes and dark straight hair with gray strands of course due to age.

            “It is nice to see you again Giselle, my son talks about you so much.” He smiles at me. I cannot really remember that we have met before.

            “It is a pleasure to meet you Sir.” I lower down my head as a respect.

            Inaki says “Hi!” as he hears my voice. Inaki are you now Sleeping Beauty or Snow White? Just my voice and you finally give a reply. Of course it is only in my head. His father leaves us so that we can talk.

            There are so many things attach to his body. He has a cardiac monitor, nasal cannula, IV line, pulse oximeter at his thumb and urine catheter. He seems a half dead man. Memories from last year hunts me. It takes me back to the time when I am at the hospital and he is there watching over me. Tears as how much we control them, still manage to appear.  He raise his right hand to reach out for me. I brush his knuckles on my cheeks. My brain cells cannot find the answer why I did not bother to ask before when I have the chance.

            “Is this why you are asking me if I am sure to work in Canada?” I am already sobbing.

            Inaki cannot speak but as the tears roll from his eyes, it is the answer. He tries to speak and all I could hear is the word ‘picture’. I follow his gesture and I am amazed that he has a picture of me in marriage booth way back in college.

            “How come you have my picture in college – wedding booth?” I bluntly asks.

            Inaki points out at the brunette nerdy man beside me. Oh heavens! Inaki is the bridegroom! I have a secret crush on him since college. But I wonder how come I never know that we are neighbor. How stupid I could be.

“Yo-u have no cl-ue that I am that m-an, didn’t yo-u?” he reveals. “Prof. Nate arranged the marriage booth for us. I bribed him since that would be my final semester.” He smiles as he gasps for air.

Now I know why I am drag on that booth. “How is it led to this? I, for one, do not know that we are neighbors. I have a crush on you before. I mean this nerdy persona but I never thought it is you.”

“You never look at me since you are always inside the house and prefer to read books.  I went home after you. I am the shadow that watches over you on your way home.  Since you are clumsy and reckless. Remember the Bavarian donuts you always receive in your freshman year and graduation? It is me.”

More flashbacks, those donuts and shadows. I do recall I am so clumsy and reckless at times. I am almost hit by car one time because I am reading “Dear John” while crossing the street. “I envy you since you are able to finish college. Unlike me I have to stay indoors due to my sickness.” His voice is getting weaker. I can see it from his situation now, he is in bad shape.

Inaki finally unfolds the other chapters of his life. He also suffers from cardiomyopathy, like his mother. He is the nerdy classmate of mine in P.E. class during our first year in college although we have different majors. I am a nursing student while he majors in business at AMA Computer College.

“The other students used to bully me because I am sickly and nerdy. You are the one who stood for me when no one dared to help.” His eyes lit up a bit with joy as he recounts the past. “The day you gave me a Bavarian donut to cheer me, is the burial day of my mom. You told me that ‘life isn’t fair so you should fight so that you will live.’ Since then on, my life’s mission is to fight for myself – my sickness, to watch over you.”  He adds. I do recall I have mentioned those words before along the staircase. So everyone thought we were lovers at that time. Now I know why he is so concern about me.

 “The day you left for Canada is the same day I left for the U.S.A. Your flight is thirty minutes ahead than mine. I came here to be close to you though we are lands apart.” He recalls. I am right, he is the man wearing the suit that day at the airport. “We can make this photo come true.” He is referring to our ‘wedding picture’. “Marry me.” He presents a fine cut Cartier diamond ring which I blissfully accepts. 

Today is Thursday, our big day. Inaki’s case is deteriorating in the passing of hours, there’s not much time left. Our wedding is private. The ceremony will start at nine in the morning. Inaki wants to see the grandeur of Niagara Falls, so his father rent this ferry for one day. Only their relatives are able to attend this solemn event. He wears a black tuxedo and I wear my white gown. As I walk down the aisle, the song “Beautiful in White” is being sung by the choir. Inaki stands in front of the altar, his father is beside him. The feeling I have now is a mixture of happiness and sadness.  I know I should be glad but knowing the future without Inaki is another thing. After the ceremony, he insists to sit down. My father – in-law offers the wooden chair to his son. Inaki watches the waterfalls while holding my hand, “I want to see the rainbow at the end of the cliff.” He murmurs in his soft weakest voice. The rainbow appears, he sees it then he let go of my hand.

Aboard the ferry all of us can feel the fresh breeze and the scent of the blue cool water. His head rests on my chest as I kneel down to keep his body from falling. My tears fall on his pale cheeks. I embrace him for one last time. My fingers run through his eyes down to his lips.  All of the guests and my father-in-law shed their tears behind us. The instrumental music of “Testify Your Love” is being played per Inaki’s requests.  For about an hour I am a wife. For about a second I am a widow. 

PS:This is a short story based on my life. You may read and cite your opinion on the given comment box below. However, you are highly advised not say any foul words. Thank you!